Q- Assuming that you were hiding your addiction from your wife (or partner) was there ever a time before your discovery that you felt compelled to come out with it, to tell the truth?
Answer- Yes. And I was, of course, also minimizing the full implications and magnitude of my behaviors. I thought that opening up and being honest about my ‘little secret’ would just be a simple discussion, that she would laugh at me like I was just a silly boy. Her laughter, compassion and understanding would then free me of the deep shame that I felt. The weight of shame was wrapping around me like lead, dragging me to the ocean floor. I instinctually knew that this act of honesty would result in an explosion so I kept it buried, thinking that I should just stop acting out instead of voluntarily starting a big fight. But instead of quitting, the compulsion only grew, as they seem to do.