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Ask a Sex Addict/ Compulsive in Recovery (SAC)
Q- I’m trying to get my husband to see that he has a problem with pornography; he denies that. I can’t tell him that I’ve checked his computer and see that he’s on porn sites 4-5 times a week. By ‘spying’ on him I’ve painted myself in a corner. How would you suggest that I get through to him, without him just turning it around and calling me a ‘Snoop’?
Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and The Erosion of Identity
by Marie-France Hirigoyen
If you have asked yourself any or all of the following questions about a love relationship—
- How did I attract a person like this?
- What have I done to deserve such cruelty/treatment/punishment?
- What did I do wrong? He used to adore me…
- Why is everything my fault?
- What can I do to make him see how he is hurting me?
Take heart, this book is a radical change from many books about relationships. Books that all too often flatly state that there are no victims in relationships. Which, of course, would imply that there are no perpetrators in relationships either. If you have been involved with a SAC and/or narcissist, you have known a perpetrator. The trouble for PoSAs is, no one will say that, validate our knowing. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday I got a text from a female acquaintance, G, I’d met at a writer’s meeting. We’ve had coffee together before the meeting a few times during which I heard earfuls about how difficult it is putting up with her husband, who cannot seem to stay in recovery from alcoholism.
After a dozen years of her husband’s failed sobriety efforts, this woman feels exhausted in her efforts to get him into solid, long-term recovery and help the rest of his life not fall apart so he doesn’t lose his job, and therefore, their lifestyle. So, understandably this woman is at her wit’s end. Sound familiar? Read the rest of this entry »
I responded to an article on The Good Men’s Project, written by the founder of that site, which was about how Hugh Hefner is gearing up to steamroll into the top TV-viewing slot on NBC this fall, usurping Mad Men, by unveiling his new series The Playboy Club.
I clicked on the youtube trailer for the new series and thought only, “Oh brother….here we go again” with the normalization and branding of pornography as cool, the thing to stay home and watch…
In my response to this piece about The Playboy Club, which the founder published as a featured article, I traveled back in time to when I was a Bunny myself, and recounted how the early seeds of my distaste for the effects of pornography were being sown back then.
In the week since my story was featured at Good Men Project, it was also picked up by other sites such as alternet, the hairpin (and others) where it gained popularity, as well. Read the rest of this entry »