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Q- The books I’ve read for partners (or wives) of sex addicts claim that he did not act out because he was unhappy, with either our sex life (which I always thought was good) and/or my appearance. Therefore, they suggest that I keep the focus on my own healing and not those other things. As a sex addict yourself, do you agree with this?
MILFs and Happy Endings
Published July 19, 2011 BY Lili on Good Men Project
Is Raunch Culture invading our everyday language?
For those fortunate enough to plead ignorance to the meaning of the disrespectful MILF term, let me just say I am just plain envious. I’ve not been spared that good fortune since I have a relative who’s a raging sexual compulsive, and his idea of bonding with me is to share his latest sexual exploits with me. Since that’s a non-stop endeavor of his, I hear way too much, stop him though I try. He blames me for creating “distance” when I remind him there’s lots of other topics to talk about besides swinger vacation clubs, best strip clubs ever, and his by-now-ubiquitous “fave porn star of the day” category. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday I got a text from a female acquaintance, G, I’d met at a writer’s meeting. We’ve had coffee together before the meeting a few times during which I heard earfuls about how difficult it is putting up with her husband, who cannot seem to stay in recovery from alcoholism.
After a dozen years of her husband’s failed sobriety efforts, this woman feels exhausted in her efforts to get him into solid, long-term recovery and help the rest of his life not fall apart so he doesn’t lose his job, and therefore, their lifestyle. So, understandably this woman is at her wit’s end. Sound familiar? Read the rest of this entry »
From time to time we will be posting questions and answers from our Members at Ask-A-Sex Addict. We invite YOU to submit your questions to Ask a Sex Addict/Compulsive (SAC) in Recovery. This is a recent question put forth by a visitor.
“How does obsessive pornography behavior get started?”
Ask a Sex Addict/Compulsive (SAC) #2
I’m sure that question is answered differently from everyone. There seems to be some childhood anxiety involved. Often abuse and trauma too.
If I look at how this obsession appears to me, I can imagine a teenager who’s starting puberty and feeling those overwhelming, hormonal impulses we know as crushes.
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse
by Barbara Steffens, Ph.D, & Marsha Means, M.A.
Before you allow yourself to be labeled a co-addict, or even a codependent, by a well-meaning therapist, a 12-Step group or the sex addict in your life—read this book! To date, this is the best book available for partners of sex addicts and its message is critical for partners of sex addicts. We highly recommend this title as the first book you read. We recommend it also for clergy/counselors and anyone who is aware that sex addiction is affecting the life of a congregant or client. Currently it is available in book format only, no audio or ebook available at this writing.
An aside: if you set out reading about his addiction, his wounds, his traumas, the recovery process may well become just like the relationship prior to discovery—all about him. Do you think for a minute he is reading about the effects his actions have had upon you? Not even a prayer of a chance that is happening. After what you have been through, it is your turn. Demand that much. Read about yourself.